Of Fireflies and Chakra Punches
by Langus
Summary: Some scars run a little too deep. Kakashi and Sakura six years after Sasuke's defection. A one shot for now.


The sun hung low in the sky over Konoha; the brilliant golden hues of what would be a breathtaking sunset could already be seen bleeding up from the horizon. Kakashi Hatake's feet led him down the well worn path to the lake where he knew he'd find her, training as she always was.

It'd been nearly six years since Sasuke Uchiha had left Konoha. She'd changed a lot since then, but so had they all. He cast a glance at the vibrant sunset peeking through the trees and swung his arm in circles to work out the kinks in his shoulder.

This last mission from ANBU had been particularly trying. His body liked to remind him, on occasion, that he wasn't as young as he'd like to think. It hadn't been a particularly tough mission, but one lucky kick he didn't seen coming had done enough damage to keep his ribs sore for days. He gingerly pressed a hand over the purple welt hidden beneath his uniform and winced. Sometimes he asked himself what the hell he was thinking re-joining ANBU after such a lengthy absence, but then he already knew the answer to that question.

The path opened ahead of him and he noticed her almost immediately. With the sun at her back he could just make out the outline of her figure running drills near the shoreline. A sad smile lifted his lips behind his mask as he stepped out with his hand raised in greeting.

"Evening, Sakura!"

She stopped suddenly and turned towards him with a look of surprise. His sharingan eye watched the chakra dissipate from her fist before it dropped quietly to her side.

"Kakashi… What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, nonchalant. "Just thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing."

Sakura regarded him critically before scoffing and turning her attention back to her training. With chakra burning like fire around her fist, she thrust it determinedly into a nearby tree. With a loud CRACK a large fissure carved its way through the two foot wide trunk and the tree toppled backwards into the forest.

Kakashi watched the move unfold with his hands tucked casually into his pockets. No one could deny that she'd gotten stronger. Her desire to bring Sasuke home had fed her once lacking ambition to the point where it consumed her every waking moment. There were many who whispered amongst themselves that she was a lost cause, a ninja who'd lost herself and would one day become a danger to everyone else.

As she turned to look at him with a satisfied smile he reaffirmed his belief that she was nowhere near that broken yet. She was determined, that was all, and he wouldn't have expected anything less from someone as proud as her.

"So how about you tell me why you really came by," she demanded, throwing him a knowing look over her shoulder.

He chuckled uneasily under her probing gaze, an act he quickly regretted the moment pain shot through his midsection. Wincing only slightly he pressed his hand over that same tender spot and offered her an apologetic half shrug.

"I was hoping you might be kind enough to lend me some of your chakra," he joked light-heartedly.

She stood still a moment, with her arms folded across her chest as though she were considering his request. Her serious expression eventually melted into something less hard and her arms fell to her sides. She motioned for him to take a seat on the ground against what was left of the tree she'd just blasted away and knelt down next to him.

"So what happened this time?" she asked, only half curious as to what his response would be.

When he'd eased his back against the tree, she pushed his hand to the side and rolled up the side of his uniform shirt. The bruise glaring back at her was an angry amalgamation of indigo and mauve that spread from just beneath his left pectoral to the bottom of his rib cage and nearly across to his sternum. Her expert fingers prodded gently around the edges of the injury, pulling back only when she heard him suck in a pained gasp.

"A lucky kick - lucky for them, unlucky for me. How bad is it?"

She could feel his eyes on her, watching her every move, and purposefully kept her face neutral. If she tried hard enough she could probably remember the first time he'd come to her like this, asking to be healed. It'd been going on for so long now that it'd become routine for them both and the whys and hows of when it started were no longer important.

After Sasuke left she'd noticed a change in her former Sensei. No one dared to ask why he suddenly spent all of his free time training his sharingan or the reason for his sudden decision to rejoin ANBU, but she knew the answer to both. They were alike, she and him. They shared the guilt of knowing that that hadn't been able to stop him from leaving. They punished themselves in their own way – he with ANBU's rough missions and she with her endless training – and somehow they met in this middle space.

"Two cracked ribs from what I can tell," she answered perfunctorily and built up the chakra in her palms. She wondered as she used it to heal him how many times it would take before he realized that she couldn't heal the pain in his heart too. The invisible scars inside of him ran the deepest and did the most damage. No matter how much she wished she could heal those too, she didn't have the power.

Always efficient with her healing chakra, she was done in a matter of minutes and eventually pulled her hand away to reveal unblemished skin stretched overtop lean, hard muscle.

"There. You're good as new." She sat back and looked away as he pulled his shirt down.

He nodded in thanks and pulled a knee into his chest to rest his arm across it. The sun had begun to set beneath the horizon but he didn't feel any pressing urge to leave. He waited quietly as Sakura seemed to hover indecisively, somewhere in-between kneeling and standing. With a quiet sigh she eventually settled down next to him on the grass, drawing both her knees into her chest. Her fingers brushed a few strands of cropped pink hair out of her eyes and she settled her gaze on the placid lake.

"You've been getting more reckless, Kakashi," she chided in a cautious tone. "You can't bring him back if you're dead."

He turned towards her, eyebrows lifted in surprise. His eyes took in her serious expression and the defiant jut of her jaw. So she was serious then.

"You need to stop punishing yourself. It's not your fault he left," she continued on, failing to see the hypocrisy in her own words.

"And it's yours?" He kept his tone gentle, not accusatory in any way, but her back stiffened regardless. She sucked in a sharp breath through her nose and glared heatedly at the ground. Her fists clenched tight where they wrapped around her shins.

"I was there. I was with him when he left. I should've stopped him and I didn't." Her voice wavered as the memory came swimming back - Sasuke's back turned defiantly away, the cold determination shining in his eyes when they'd met hers – and she could feel the tears beginning to well in her eyes.

"Sakura…"

"No! Don't patronize me Kakashi! You know it's true, everyone knows it's true. You've all just been too nice to say anything. Sasuke was right when he told me I was pathetic and annoying. Back then, I _was_ weak. I don't blame him for leaving one bit - I wouldn't have stayed with me either the way I was."

With an irritated 'tch' she swiped away the tears that'd leaked down her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"But I'm stronger now," she determined, her voice ringing with certainty, "and I'll continue to grow stronger until the day comes when he can look at me and be impressed. Then I'll be the kind of woman who deserves him. That's the only chance I have of bringing him home."

The sky darkened and the night sky cast its long shadow across the grassy knoll where they sat. Kakashi waited patiently while she composed herself. She sniffled quietly and wiped away the final remnants of tears from her cheeks as though they were a nuisance. They really were no different inside, she and him. He understood exactly how she felt, probably more acutely than she realized. Heaving an impatient sigh, he set his hand atop her head and forced her to look his way. Her gaze was as defiant and pained as ever.

"No one blames you Sakura, so you can stop blaming yourself." His tone was that of a gentle reprimand and his eyes smiled at her. "You're much stronger now than before. Sasuke would most definitely be impressed by your abilities. The Sakura he left behind was just a girl, but you've become a powerful shinboi."

She smiled slightly beneath his warm gaze and felt the aching tension that strangled her heart every time she thought of Sasuke slowly ebb away. Her former Sensei had a certain way with words. She'd come to realize that these random meetings of theirs often healed her own wounds too, at least temporarily. They were an interesting pair – healing each other in such a subtle manner without ever admitting that that was what they were doing.

She shot him a grateful smile and shrugged out from beneath his hand. "Thanks."

A moment of thoughtful silence stretched between them after that. Above their heads the first stars were already starting to peek out from behind the blanket of the night sky and across the lake the first fireflies of the night danced among the tall grasses that lined the shore.

Sakura rested her chin atop her knees and kept her eyes glued on the silhouette of the rising moon reflected in the water's surface. It'd been six years and nothing had really changed, for either of them. They were both stuck in a viscous cycle they couldn't break out of. Her heart whispered the truth that she'd never dare to speak aloud - that for both of them it'd stopped being about Sasuke long ago.

"He's not coming back is he," she asked softly into the night. It wasn't so much a question as it was an observation. He was quiet a moment, and then answered her just as quietly,

"No, I'm afraid not."

Sakura nodded and slipped her fingers through her cropped hair. Even after he'd left she'd never let it grow out, despite knowing that he preferred long hair on girls. It wasn't something she'd noticed until that moment, but the jagged short layers of her hair seemed to speak in volumes what her heart had for so long denied – that she'd known all along there was never any hope. If she wanted to be brutally honest with herself - and sometimes she was on the days when she was feeling particularly masochistic – she acknowledged that he'd never wanted her. She was foolish to have ever thought that he would.

Her lips curved into a rueful smile as she brought her hand away from her hair and wrapped it once more around her legs. She would never hold it against him. The desire to impress him was what had driven her ambition and quenched her thirst for success these many years. He had helped her become the best and strongest ninja she could possibly be and for that she would always be thankful to him.

Feeling somewhat lighter, she reached her arms above her head and stretched out the sore muscles in her back and shoulders. As she brought her arms back down she cast a glance at Kakashi. After all this time she still had no idea what he looked like beneath that mask. There was an aura of truth hanging in the air between them tonight and she was willing to push the boundaries for all they were worth.

"Kakashi…You've worn that mask for as long as I've known you. What purpose does it serve?"

"Purpose?"

He touched a hand to his cheek and grazed his fingertips along the black material that kept the lower half of his face hidden from the world. Dropping his hand away he offered her a half-shrug in response.

"I've worn it so long now that I sometimes forget it's still there. It's more habit now than anything else I think."

"Why did you start?"

His expression changed, and he leaned back heavily against the tree stump.

"You've heard about the Konoha White Fang, I assume."

She nodded silently.

"Try being his son. Afterwards...well, people didn't need any more reminders."

Sakura rested her chin atop her knees and let his words sink in.

She'd heard the stories all right, about how the White Fang had betrayed the village and thrown a valuable mission for the sake of his comrades. He was publicly disgraced before all of Konoha and eventually took his own life. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like for Kakashi to live through that, to grow up wearing the face of a man the entire village hated.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and blew out a quiet sigh. Compared to Kakashi, her problems were nothing more than juvenile whining. Even still, he'd never made her feel that way about them and she appreciated him all the more for it.

Looking up she found him smiling at her from behind his mask.

"They're really quite comfortable, you know," he added, cheerfully. "Every ninja should own one."

Sakura rolled her eyes and held back a laugh. Leave it to Kakashi to know how to lighten the mood. There was something at ease about him tonight. She smiled inwardly, happy to see him looking somewhat at peace for once.

The symphony of night time insects ebbed and flowed around them. Realizing that another opportunity might never present itself, she steeled her resolve and fixed him with a determined look.

"Can I ask a favour?"

He nodded genially, his attention captured by the dancing fireflies across the lake.

"Will you show me, just this once?"

He didn't respond at first. His gaze seemed distant, as though he were lost to his own thoughts and it was a good long while before he pulled in a deep breath and leaned his head back against the tree. She watched rapt as his hand lifted to his mask. For that moment her lungs refused to take in breath or her eyes to blink for fear of missing a rare glimpse at the true Kakashi. When his hand dropped away she couldn't hide her disappointment.

"Sorry, Sakura," he confided seriously. "Some day I'll show you, but not today."

Feeling dejected and somewhat irritated, she stood abruptly and brushed the collection of dirt and grass from her bottom.

"I'm heading back now. Be careful with yourself Kakashi," she warned, "I may not feel like healing you next time."

It was the same line she gave him every time and he always chuckled. He knew just as well as she did how big of a lie it truly was. There would never come a time when she would refuse to heal the man who'd introduced her to the life of being a ninja. She only wished she could do more to heal the rest of him, the parts the warmth of her chakra couldn't touch or mend.

She stared after him a moment before she turned away.

"Goodnight, Kakashi."

He turned his head towards her and offered her a small nod and a wave. His eyes crinkled at the corners suggesting he was smiling. Their routine never changed but it was comfortable and familiar to them both. After all, why break something that doesn't need to be broken?

With a soft sigh she turned from him and headed along the path that led back to the village. He'd be there for at least another few hours, staring distantly at the moon. As the forest slowly swallowed her she felt the connection between them fade. That was always the hardest part – going back to feeling alone again. Despite her harsh warning to him to be more careful, another part of her was already churning in anxious anticipation of the next time he would come to her. She hoped it wouldn't be long.

* * *

_Author's Note: _Seeing as how this is my first sojourn into Naruto fandom I'd really appreciate some feedback on this chapter. Did I get them right considering this is taking place six years after Sasuke's defection? I haven't been watching Naruto for that long so I'm still iffy about my characterizations (and I haven't watched any _Shippuden_).

If there's enough interest I have an idea for a couple more chapters so if you'd like to read more please send a review my way :)

Many thanks,

Langus


End file.
